Advantages And Disadvantages
"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both.
"The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
It was the convicts' cricket match. The fast bowler whizzed down a screamer which just missed, but a bail gently toppled off.
'Not out,' protested the batsman,' it was the wind.'
'Wind or not,' said the umpire,' you're out on bail!'
A tornado lifts off the roof of a house very early one morning, picks up the bed on which Bubbah and his wife Beckie are sleeping and sets them down gently in Montgomery.
When Beckie starts to cry, Bubbah tries to comfort her. "Don't be scared, darling," he says, "we're not hurt."
But Beckie continues to cry. "I'm not crying because I’m scared," she says, "I'm crying because I’m happy - this is the first time in years we've been out together somewhere other than the farm!"
The Nebraskan Fence
Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down from Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to stop it. The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence across the North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea being, to stop that cold wind. It might've worked, too. The barbed wire they used was strong enough, .but the real problem was that a couple owners of farms on the upper boarder kept leaving their gates open.
The Strongest Wind
Two farmers were boasting about the strongest wind they'd ever experienced. "Out here in California," said one, "I've seen the fiercest wind in my life. You know those giant redwoods trees? Well the wind got so strong it bent them right over."
"That's nothing," said the farmer from Iowa. "Back on my farm we had a wind one day that blew a hundred miles per hour. It was so bad that one of my hens had her back turned to the wind and laid the same egg six times!"