Your 5 Jokes for May 07, 2012: Widower Jokes

I Didn’t Remember

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying' yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."


Invitations

Donald to his wife:

- What a shame... What a shame...

- What happened?

- Albert invited me for his wife's funeral for the third time while I had no chance to invite him even once.


The Score

A lovely afternoon finds a man and his wife golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, wraps around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. His wife hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion.

"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."

He thinks this over and decides that it will work. With his wife holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "whack"! The ball shoots through the air and right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly.

Months go by, the man mourning all the while. His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. They end up at the same course and on the final hole, oddly enough, another terrible slice puts the old barn between his ball and the green. Again he begins to rant and rave at what this dilemma will do to his score. He friend, wanting to please him, makes a suggestion.

"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."

"No," the man replies, "last time I did that I got two over par."


The Widow And The Widower

Joan, a widow who recently married a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband occasionally talks about his first wife?"

"Oh, not any more," Joan replied.

"What stopped him?" asked the friend.

"I started talking about my next husband," replied Joan.


The Wishing Well

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said… “Cool!…It really works!"