Your 5 Jokes for February 21, 2013: Wealth Jokes

A Million Dollar

After being arrested for fraud, a millionaire hired the best lawyer in town. "Look," the millionaire said, "I've got nearly a million in cash in my bank box. Can you get me off?"

The lawyer said, "Believe me, pal, you will never go to prison with that kind of money."

And sure enough, he did not. He went to prison flat broke.


Fortune

Mr and Mrs Goldberg had just got married. On their way to their honeymoon, Mr Goldberg said to his new wife “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?"
She replied, “Darling, I would have married you no matter who had left you a fortune."


Health And Wealth

Morris dies suddenly soon after his 70th birthday. Two month’s later, his family is sitting around the desk of Morris’s solicitor for the reading of the Will. The solicitor thanks all of them for coming and then reads out Morris’s Last Will and Testament.
"I, Morris Avrahom Levy, being of sound mind, make the following gifts. To my beautiful, sweet wife Rivkah, I leave my Hampstead house, my Birchington holiday flat, and £800,000 in cash and shares. Enjoy darling. To my handsome and hardworking son Paul, I leave my Lexus car and £200,000 in cash. Keep up the good work, Paul. To my gorgeous and clever daughter Suzanne, I leave my Jaguar car and £200,000 in cash. I love you, darling Suzy. And to my brother Henry, who always told me in no uncertain terms that ‘health’ is so much more important than ‘wealth’, I leave my exercise bike and treadmill."


How The Poor Live

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Oh, yeah," said the son.

"So what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four." "We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end."

"We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night."

"We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight."

"We have servants who serve us, but they serve others."

"We buy our food, but they grow theirs."

"We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

With this the boy's father was speechless. Then his son added,

"Thanks, dad, for showing me how poor we are."


Love At First Site

Judith bumps into her friend Esther and immediately asks, "I’ve just heard that you got married, Esther. I’m so happy for you. But do tell me - was it love at first sight?"
"No, Judith, it was love at second sight," replies Esther. "At first sight, there was no way of knowing that my Harry was a multi-millionaire!"