Your 5 Jokes of the Day, November 06, 2012: Twin Jokes

Father’s Name

Twin brothers were in a same class. The teacher asks them to write their father’s name. They wrote different names. The teacher was shocked and asked them why they wrote different names. Their reply, "Now you won’t say that we cheated".

It’s All The Same

Once upon a time a married couple bore twin sons. They were very poor and could not afford to keep them. They put the twins up for adoption. One of the boys went to a Spanish family and was named Juan. The other twin was placed to an Egyptian family and was named Amal. Some years later, Juan became curious about his birth parents. After researching and finally locating them, he sent them a nice letter and a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, the birth mother said "I'm so glad that he's happy. And what a wonderful picture! I wish we had a picture of Amal. I would love to know what he looks like." Her husband turned to her and said, "I wouldn't worry about it, dear, when you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Naming Twins

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked with some trepidation, "Well, bro, what did you name them?" Whereupon, his brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?" The brother winked and replied, "Denephew."

The Pessimist and the Optimist

A family had twin boys were totally opposite. If one was too hot, the other was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with the best toys and games. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

The Twin Sisters

A fellow and his wife living in Houston, Texas, where the people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth of twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on the 4th of July, and the father, being patriotic, said to his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice, after the pledge of alligence".

His wife said, "Are you nuts? You can't have girls going through life with names like Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular girl's names like Mary or Jane".

Well, the argument went on for about a month, when a compromise was reached. They would each name one of the girls. The man chose Liberty and the wife picked Elizabeth.

As the girls grew, they were so identical, they kept pulling tricks on people who couldn't tell them apart.

Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took interest in them. He would take one out on a date but he was never sure which one he was with.

He decided he would marry at least one of them, but he wasn't sure which one he would marry.

He went to the girls father and explained his quandary. "I love your daughters and want to marry one of them, but I can't tell them apart, so I will leave it up to you...

Give me Liberty or give me Beth."