Your 5 Jokes for February 20, 2013: Tunnel Jokes

Digging The Tunnel

Great Britain and France hold the tender for digging the tunnel beneath English Channel.

Americans:

- We will dig the tunnel from 2 sides within 2 years and guarantee the joint accuracy of 15 meters.

Japanese:

- We will dig the tunnel from 2 sides within 1 year and guarantee the joint accuracy of 5 meters.

Russians:

- Well... We also will dig the tunnel from 2 sides within two weeks and don't guarantee any joint accuracy. At worst you will have two tunnels.


If I Were You

Cassie was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each one a bag. The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" replied the curious brother "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."


In A Train Car

In a train car there were a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought - "That dirty American wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face."

The fat lady thought - "This silly old American laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".

The American thought - "That swine of a Canadian put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".

The Canadian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon, so I can smack that stupid American again".


The Little Bottle

Two men were riding on a train. One of them had a bottle in his coat pocket, and the other one wanted it. Finally the train went through a dark tunnel and the man was able to take the bottle out and drink up all the "whisky" inside of it. Then he put it back into the other man's pocket. When the train came out of the tunnel, the man who owned the bottle took it out of his pocket, opened it up, and spit into it.


Uniting Britain To Mainland Europe

An Englishman and a Frenchman are discussing the Channel Tunnel.

The Frenchman is saying how wonderful it is that this co-operative venture is taking place, and that he never expected the English to go to such trouble to be united to the mainland of Europe.

"Oh that's nothing," says the Englishman, "You should have seen the trouble we had digging the Channel in the first place!"

Search

Keep In Touch