Your 5 Jokes for March 16, 2012: Traffic Jokes

Buzzing Signal

While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told that it was to let blind people know when the light was red, she replied, "What in the world are blind people doing driving?"

Related jokes: Blind jokes

The Driver

During the heydays of his leadership, Gorbachev is running late going to the Kremlin. While he is shaving, he calls in his driver, asks him to bring the car to the front of the apartment building, sit in the back and leave the engine running; he would drive himself. The driver says: "But Comrade Secretary General, I AM your driver!". Gorbachev is getting angry and shouts at the driver: "Just do as you are told." Finishing up in the bathroom, Gorbachev grabs his briefcase, runs down the stairs, jumps into the driver's seat of the car, throws the briefcase in the back to the driver and drives off like a maniac through downtown Moscow.

He passes two cops on motorcycles, who are monitoring traffic from a side-street. One cop says to the other: "Look at that idiot! I am going to catch him!", so he turns on the lights and siren and goes after the speeding car.

Ten minutes later, he comes back, stops his motorcycle next to his partner, shuts down the engine and sits quietly, looking visibly shaken. His partner wants to know: "Did you catch him?" The cop nods. "Did you give him a ticket?" The cop shakes his head. Now his partner gets angry: "Come on, talk, who was that???" The cop looks wide-eyed and says: "I have no idea who that was, but Gorbachev WAS HIS DRIVER !!!!!!"

Related jokes: Speeding jokes

The Illegal Turn

A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.

"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

Related jokes: Police jokes

The Road-Roller

A new Mercedes bumps into the back of a road-roller. A New Russian gets out from Mercedes and calls to his familiar traffic police officer. In five minutes the officer is at the place of the accident. He comes to the road-roller driver and says:

- So, I'm listening attentively to your story about how you were overtaking the Mercedes...

Related jokes: Accident jokes

Who’s Driving?

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat.

The women just won’t leave him alone.

His mother-in-law says, “You’re driving too fast!"

His wife says, “Stay more to the left."

After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, “Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"

Related jokes: Mother-in-law jokes


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