5 Toilet Jokes


I walked into a public toilet where I found two cubicles, of which one was already
occupied. So I entered the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you going?"

I thought it a bit strange, but not wanting to be rude I replied "Yeah, not too bad

After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to?"

Unsure what to say, I replied "Umm, just having a quick poo. How about you?"

I then heard the voice for the third time ....."Sorry buddy, I'll have to call you back.

I've got some damn stupid idiot in the loo next to me answering everything I say."

Ladies Restroom

It was very crowded and noise in this restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was. And he says: - I can’t hear you! So she gets close to his ear and asks again: - Can you please tell me where the ladies room is? And he replies: - On the other side! So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks:-Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!
And he answers: - On the other side!

Mirrored Lipstick

Every recess the school girls would go into the restrooms, put on lipstick, and kiss the mirrors. Finally a teacher took the girls into the restrooms to show them how much work it is for the janitor to clean it.

The janitor then dipped his mop into the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Problem Solved!! No more kissing the mirrors.

Three Ants

There were 3 ants in a house. They all had to decide where they wanted to sleep. One ant decides to sleep in the cabinet, one in the cookie jar, and one in the toilet.

The next morning they all woke up and meet on the stove top to ask each other how their sleep was.

The one who slept in the cabinet said his was hot. The one who slept in the cookie jar said his was sweet! The one that slept in the toilet said that " First it got dark, then it rained, a big gust of wind came, and if it wasn't for that big log... I would have drowned!!!"

A Cup of Tea for Daddy

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said: (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"


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