5 Teacher Jokes

Give Me an Example

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher.

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure," said the young boy, confidently. "Means carrying a child."


Making Faces

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Little Johnny, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned."


Rabbits

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?

Paddy: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now!


Sleeping in the Classroom

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row.

The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!"

The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"


The Class Photograph

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher;... she's dead."

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