Your 5 Jokes for July 16, 2013: Surprise Jokes

Pal’s Birthday

It was our pal’s birthday, so we decided to call him up and sing "Happy Birthday."

Only trouble was we dialled the wrong number.

"Don't let it bother you." said the voice on the other end, just before he hung up, "You need all the practice you can get."

The Big Surprise

One day a guy was driving home from work urging for baked beans.After so long he finally went into a nearby restaurant and ate 5 servings of beans. He drove home and his wife told him she had a surprise for him, so she blindfolded him. Just then the phone rang and the wife went to get it but said whatever you do, dont peek and sat him at the dining room table. The guy noticed the beans satrted to have an affect. He lifted up his leg and let out a big one. He kept farting and finally the wife got off the phoine. She walked into the dining room and said... whats that smell?... It was time for his surprise so the wife took off his blind fold and there were guests all around the table for his birthday.

The Chinese Restaurant

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise"...

The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order" ??

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise"" sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"

The Little Surprise

The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife's birthday.

"A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk.

"You bet," answered the customer. "She's expecting a cruise."

The Sheep

Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.

After a while he asks surprised:

- Sir, how come your sheep has only tree legs?

- Because I used only one leg for the stock.


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