A hundred-year old man has broken a mirror and looks very pleased about it. “Why are you so pleased?" people ask him. “You’ll have seven years of bad luck!" “But it means I’ll live another seven years!"
Cyril gets a new job at Rothschilds Bank and immediately gets on well with his fellow investment bankers. So much so that a group of them who meet for a round of golf every Sunday ask Cyril whether he’d like to join them this Sunday at 10am.
"I’d love to," replies Cyril, "thanks for asking. But I might be 6 minutes late."
"No problem," they reply.
Cyril turns up on Sunday exactly at 10am, golfs right-handed and posts the lowest score. They congratulate him and invite him to join them again next Sunday.
"I’ll be there," Cyril says, "but I might be 6 minutes late."
The following Sunday, Cyril turns up exactly at 10am, golfs left-handed and posts the lowest score. They again congratulate him.
This continues for a number of Sundays, with Cyril always saying that he might be 6 minutes late, and always posting the lowest score, whether he golfs left or right handed.
One Sunday, in the bar after their round of golf, his colleagues ask, "Cyril, we hope you don’t mind us asking, but every Sunday you tell us that you might be 6 minutes late, but you never are. And then, whether you play left or right-handed, you still post the lowest score. What’s it all about?"
"It’s no great deal," replies Cyril, "I’m very superstitious. Every Sunday, when I awake, I look over at my beautiful wife Freda. If she’s sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed and if she’s sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed."
"But what if your Freda is sleeping on her back?" they ask.
Cyril replies, "Then I’m going to be 6 minutes late."
A man comes to an old sage, saying, “You are a wise and well-educated, please tell me, a simple little man, why is my nose itching all the time?" The sage says, “It means you’ll go to a party tonight." “And why are my eyes itching?" “That’s bad news! You’ll be crying." “And why are my tummy, my back, my feet and my armpits itching?" “Listen, man, go and wash yourself!"
An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office.
Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked,
he said, “Of course not!"
But then why do you keep it?
“Well," he said, “it works whether you believe in it or not."
Two robbers were robbing a hotel.
The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious."