Your 5 Jokes for August 17, 2013: Stomach Jokes

Drink Milk

Chico once went to the doctor due to stomach trouble. The doctor prescribed plenty of milk and gave Chico a bottle of pills. "I'll stop by this evening and see how you`re doing," the doctor said. "In the meantime, drink at least four glasses of milk. Milk is the ticket for curing your trouble. So drink plenty of it." That evening, the doctor returned, examined Chico and told him, "You're much better this evening. Just be sure you don't drink any milk. Not one glass. It's not for you." "But, doctor," Chico exclaimed, "only this morning you told me that milk was what I needed and that I should drink four glasses of it." "Well, what do you know?" the doctor replied. "It certainly goes to show that we've made tremendous progress in medicine since the last time I saw you."


Leaving

Two cockroaches were living happily inside the belly of a man. The man was disturbed by their presence in his stomach and consulted a doctor on how to get rid of the nuisance. "Tik 20 is very effective against cockroaches/ advised the medico.
The cockroaches overheard what the doctor said.' We are doomed,' said one cockroach.
'Don't be silly/ replied the other.' If the fellow takes Tik 20 it will kill him as well.'
The other was not convinced:' He is a fool. Just to get rid of us he may decide to kill himself. I don't care what you do; I am taking the early morning flight out of his belly.'


Pool Balls

A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems. The doctor asks him what he’s been eating.

"I only eat pool balls," he says. "Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner."

"I see the problem," says the doctor. "You’re not getting enough greens."


The Stamp

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."


The Surgery

Akpos opened his eyes after a surgical operation and breathed "Thank God it's over". A man on the other side of his bed said, "don't be so sure, they left an injection in my belly and had to open it again".

Another patient added, "same with me but mine was a pack of cotton wool". Almost immediately, the doctor who did the operation stormed in and asked, "Has anyone seen my watch?", Akpos fainted.

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