Pencils For Church
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why."I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.""Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?""Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown."However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'"
A couple were at their first pre-natal class. So that the husband could get an idea of what it felt like to be pregnant, the instructor strapped a bag of sand to his stomach.
As he walked around with his new bulge, the husband said: "This doesn't feel too bad."
Then the instructor deliberately dropped a pen and said to the husband: "Now I want you to pick up that pen as if you were pregnant."
"You want me to do it the way my wife would?" confirmed the husband.
"Exactly the same," said the instructor.
The husband turned to his wife and said: "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
Mother: "why are you home from school so early?"
Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at itcause it was prettier than most.The clerk said, "It's made in Germany".I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then".The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."
Where Is Your Pencil?
"Where's your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain. "I ain't got one, Sir." "You're in England.now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I haven't got a pencil. You haven't got a pencil. They haven't got a pencil.""Gee!" said Bud. "Pop said things were tough in this country, but I didn't know pencils were so hard to come by."