For Twenty Dollars
“Hey, Mom," asked Johnny “can you give me twenty dollars?"
“If you do," he went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?"
He said, ‘Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow."
A man met his friend in a shopping centre. The friend had a look at his feet and asked, "Why are you wearing one red and one black sock"? The man paused for a moment then said, "I have married this stupid woman. She buys funny things. I have another pair like this at home".
I got up one morning and couldn`t find my socks, so I called Information.
She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can`t find my socks."
She said, "They`re behind the couch."
And they were!
A Mexican, who speaks no English, comes to the USA. As is often the case, he finds that he needs new socks. So, he walks into a clothing store, and manages to convey to the clerk that he needs something, but not what.
So, the clerk starts taking down boxes and showing what's inside to the Mexican. He shows him a shirt, some pants, a tie, a hat, but each time the Mexican shakes his head and says "No." Finally, the clerk brings down a box of socks and shows them to the Mexican. The Mexican starts nodding vigorously and says "¡Eso sí que es!" The clerk angrily blurts out, "Well why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!"
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?"
"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."
"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks."
"You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"