Your 5 Jokes for September 30, 2012: Skydiving Jokes

Don’t Worry

A military exercise is carried out at an American airbase. The paratroopers have jumped out of the C-130 Hercules. Suddenly, a soldier screams desperately to his officer!

Soldier: "Sir! My parachute doesn't open!"

Officer: "Don't worry soldier! This is just an exercise!"

Favorite Sport

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog.""But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered."But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."

Recognizing People’s Faces

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

The Soviet Parachute

A Soviet guerrilla was being sent behind enemy lines. He was given a brief: to board a certain aeroplane that would take him to point M.

There he was to jump. His parachute would open and when he landed he would find a car waiting to take him where he had to go.

When, the aeroplane reached point M, the guerrilla jumped.

He pulled the ring but the parachute didn't open:

'As usual,' thought the guerrilla. 'Wherever you go, the same old Soviet junk doesn’t work. I bet the car won't even be waiting when I get there...'

What Should I Do?

In the shop:

- What should I do if I pull the ring but the parachute doesn't open?

- Pull the second ring?

- What if I pull the second ring but the parachute doesn't open?

- Our shop will replace the broken parachute for free.

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Air Force jokes - Airplane jokes - Airport jokes - Army jokes - Aviation jokes - Flight jokes - Flying jokes - Landing jokes - Luggage jokes - Military jokes - Parachute jokes - Pilot jokes - Piloting jokes - Plane jokes