Your 5 Jokes for May 01, 2013: Singing Jokes

The Concert

A singer during his tour arrives to a small province town and asks for a pretty high fee:

- Everybody knows me – says he to the chairman of local culture office, trying to persuade him.

Finally the concert takes place, but only three people came to it.

- You are a liar, you told me that everyone knows you, but only three man came to your concert, - rebels the chairman.

- Of course, - says the singer – only those three came, who didn’t know me.


Once More

As soon as the singer completed a song, the audience were screaming 'Once More! Once More!'.

The Singer obliged and sang the song again. She couldn't believe it when the audience screamed for her to sing it again. This was then repeated another ten times.

Then singer overjoyed at the response from the audience thanked them and asked them why they were so interested to hear the same song again and again.

One of the people in the audience replied, 'we wanted you to improve it, now it's better.'


Two Sparrows

Two sparrows meet on the Soviet border. One is flying from France to the Soviet Union, the other from the Soviet Union to France.

'What do you want to come here for?' the Soviet sparrow asks the French sparrow.

'Well, you see,' replies the French sparrow, 'I'm hungry. In France nobody spills grain on the roads, there are no holes in the barns, and I'm starving. Now I've heard that in the Soviet Union there are holes in the barns and they spill grain on the roads . . .'

"That's true,' says the Soviet sparrow. 'There are holes in the barns and there is grain on the road . . .'

'Then why are you flying in our direction?'

'Well, how can I explain it,' replies the Soviet sparrow sadly. "There is grain on the roads and you won't die of hunger... but I'm bursting to be allowed to sing . . .'


Women’s Day Songs

Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing.

"Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women’s Day."

"That’s nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?"

"Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"


You Can’t Sing

A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor.

"You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something."

So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir."

"Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked.

"Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing."

"That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!"