A New Secretary
A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?" he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither, He's bald..."
Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use the copier machine paper," the other responded.
With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier, and proceeded to make five blank copies.
"I have to have a raise," the secretary said to her boss. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the boss. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
Returning From Her Vacation
Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. "But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then ?" "What and ruin my vacation ?" she whined.
George had responded to a call from his lawyer, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office.
"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked.
"Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" George was stunned "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."