Your 5 Jokes for March 04, 2012: Robber Jokes

He’s Lying

A guy comes into my firm to retain us after he got arrested for armed robbery. He denied all the charges. So when we went down to the police station and the victim pointed him out as one of the five men that held up his store, this client was mad. “He’s lying!!! There were only four of us."

Silver Spoons

A robber instructs his wife before the party:

- Don’t lay silver spoons on the table!

- Do you think the guests can steal them?

- No, I’m afraid they can recognize them!

Related jokes: Party jokes

The Car

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.

"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine."

"Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?"

"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

The Puncture

In the evening a man drives his car when suddenly one of the tires punctures. The man stopped the car, went out and started to take off the wheel. Another man passed by and asked:

- Hey, man, what are you doing?

- I'm taking off the wheel.

The man that passed by picks up a stone, throws into the car window and says:

- Then I will take the car radio!

The Suspect

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

Related jokes: Bank jokes

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Arrest jokes - Attorney jokes - Court jokes - Crime jokes - Defendant jokes - Escape jokes - Jail jokes - Judge jokes - Jury jokes - Justice jokes - Law jokes - Lawyer jokes - Mugging jokes - Murder jokes - Police jokes - Prison jokes - Prisoner jokes - Robbery jokes - Theft jokes - Thief jokes - Trial jokes - Witness jokes