Your 5 Jokes for December 14, 2012: Rescue Jokes

Rescue Anne

Toward the end of their senior year in high school, students were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Rescue Anne, to practice.
Rescue Anne was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case.

The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of the students gently shook the doll and asked, "Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing.

Suddenly, the student turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She says she can't feel her legs!"

The Dog

One early winter morning, Schmidt was walking beside the canal when he saw a dog in the water trying hard to stay afloat. It looked so sad and exhausted that Schmidt jumped in and after a struggle managed to bring it out alive.

A passer by saw this and said, “That was very brave of you. Are you a vet?"

Schmidt replied, “Of course I’m a vet? I’m a freezing cold as vell."

The Oath

One summer, Abe went swimming in the sea at Margate and almost drowned. Luckily, when he cried out for help, some swimmers came to his aid. As he was helped out of the water, he took a solemn oath:

"I swear I shall never to go into the water again until I learn how to swim!"

The Rescuer

A ship has sunk and rescue boats are immediately called. One of the rescue boats comes across two men a black man and a white man. The rescuer tells them there’s only room for one more person. The man says "I’ll ask each of u a question who ever gets it right gets on the boat, and if both of u get it right we'll keep going till one of you miss a question". They agree to that. The rescuer says to the white man "How many people died on Titanic?" He replies "That’s easy, about 1500". The rescuer told him he was right. Then he turned to the black man and said "Name them".

The Survivor

At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team.

"Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades.

The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"

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