Your 5 Jokes for February 20, 2014: Relative Jokes

Distant

A tiny tot sought admission to the junior branch of a school on the strength of having an older brother in the final year in the same school. The older boy had described the aspirant as his' real brother'. When the little fellow appeared before the interview board and was questioned about the relationship, he replied,' He is a distant relative.'

'How come you call him a distant relative when he says you are his real brother?' asked the principal.

'Sir, there are nine brothers and sisters between him and me, so he has become a distant relative.'


Good Business

One day, Becky meets her old friend Rachel in Hendon. She asks, “So how is your son the solicitor?"

“David’s fine, thanks. Please God every solicitor should be as busy as he is – he’s even having to turn away new business."

“And how’s your daughter Hannah?"

“She’s doing really fine. She’s now playing her violin in almost every major concert hall around the world and we hardly see her these days."

“And what about your youngest son?"

“Oh Issy? He’s doing OK, I suppose. He’s currently selling cheap clothing to all the street markets in central London. Mind you, if it wasn’t for Issy, we would all be starving."


Go Shooting

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things – chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.

Finally, the uncle had an idea. “There’s no one around for miles, why don’t you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?"

This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and off he went, dogs in trail.

That afternoon, the nephew returned.

“How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.

“It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. “Got any more dogs?"


Next Of Kin

A villager in Africa (where many villages are ruled by a ‘king’) was asked:

"Who is your next of kin?"

He replied that it is the King's son and he told the registrar that "our village people will resist any attempt to steal the crown from him"


Ugly Lady

The man, trying to start up a conversation with another man said, "Who is the ugly lady over there?"

The second man said, "Why, that's my wife!"

Trying to get out of an embarrassing situation, the first man said, "No, not her, the other one!"

The second man said, "That's my daughter!"