Your 5 Jokes for August 15, 2013: Promotion Jokes

Business Card

My husband, Daniel, had been promoted to a newly created position. He was eager to find out what his official title was, so when his business cards finally arrived, I was surprised that he seemed reluctant to show me. After some persuasion, Daniel gave me a card, naming him director of product efficiency. "Wow," I responded, "that sounds impressive."

"Not really," Daniel replied as he removed my thumb from the acronym underneath. It read DOPE.


Outstanding English

Santa Singh got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates.

One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted,

'Why are you outstanding! Please income.'


Responsibility

Two weeks after Paisley's transfer into the promotion department, his old boss got a phone call. "You told me Paisley was a responsible worker!" yelled the furious head of promotion.

"Oh, he is." she confirmed. "In the year he worked in my department the computer went down five times and had to be completely reprogrammed, the petty cash got misplaced six times, and I developed an ulcer. And each time, Paisley was responsible."


Sitting On A Branch

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.

Banta asks why he does this.

Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."


The Secretary

A Man came home from work last night and said to his wife "I have been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and get to employ my own secretary"

Wife says "well please find an ugly secretary ,who doesn't have a personal hygiene, smelly armpits and dresses like an old woman, I don't want you choosing someone who you are going to be tempted to have an affair with!"

"That's fair enough", the man replied "when do you wanna start?"