Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful young fairy princess who dreamed of being a ballet dancer. Then one day, she read an ad in her email that announced the Royal Ballet's next auditions in a nearby town. So on the right day, the fairy princess geared up one hundred white pigeons to her chariot, and off they flew to the theater. After witnessing her outrageous entrance, the director immediately told her to go back home. "But why?" wept the broken-hearted shell of a would-be-ballerina. "Because," came the heartless reply, "I've got enough pigeon-towed dancers in the company already."
Hard To Please
Becky is having lunch with Hannah, the world’s most perfect ‘Princess’.
Becky says, "My Mark is just impossible. Absolutely nothing pleases him. Tell me, Hannah, is your Hymie hard to please?"
Hannah shrugs and replies, "I wouldn't know. I've never tried."
The Princess And The Frog
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in my castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in vinegar and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: ‘I don't think so!’
The Tea Contest
Their once was a Princess who fell in love with an indian, but still wasn't happy because he had accomplished nothing in his life. One day in the paper the princess read of an herbal tea drinking contest. Suprisingly the in Indian was very good at this and decided to enter. The contest began and soon it was down to the indian and another man, they both drank 32 gallons of tea. Finally after 34 gallons the other man dropped out and the indian won, by drinking 35 gallons of herbal tea. After celebrating, the indian went to sleep with the trophy in his hands and....that night he drowned in his teapee!
Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)
One day, he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.
At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.
Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind her dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, "Pardon?"