A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city sub- scribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 more of them."
There were two brothers, an American and a Russian.
The American was jobless and hungry. But he had an idea: he went to the gates of the White House, sat on the ground outside and began eating hay. Kennedy saw him there and asked: 'What are you eating hay for?'
'Because I'm hungry and I haven't a job.'
Kennedy was outraged and ordered that he be fed and given some money.
'What else would you like?'
'A ticket to Russia to visit my brother.'
Kennedy made the arrangements and the American flew to Russia where he found that his brother was starving too. The American burst out laughing and said:
'Brother, I can give you a good piece of advice. Go to the Kremlin, sit on the ground by the gates and eat hay. Out will come Krushchev who will be angry to see you in such a state and give you everything you need.'
And that's what the Russian brother did. He sat down by the Kremlin gates and began eating hay. Out came Krushchev and saw him there.
'What are you eating hay for?' he asked.
'Because I'm hungry and I haven't any money.'
'You're a fool!' says Krushchev. 'It's summer now, you should be eating grass and leaving the hay for winter.'
Gandhi Wants A Horse
A vagrant, finding no place on the pavement, parked himself at the feet of a statue of Mahatma Gandhi. At midnight he was awakened by someone gently tapping him with a stick. It was the Mahatma himself.' You Indians have been unfair to me,' complained the benign spirit.' You put my statues everywhere; they show me standing or walking. My feet are very tired. Why can't I have a horse like the one Shivaji has? Surely, I did as much for the nation as he! And you still call me your Bapu.
Next morning, the vagrant went round calling on the ministers. At long last he persuaded one to join him for a nightlong vigil at the feet of the Mahatma's statue. Lo and behold, as the iron tongue of the neighbouring police station gong struck the midnight hour, the Mahatma emerged from his statue to converse with the vagrant. He repeated his complaint of having to stand or walk, and his request to be provided a mount like the Chhatrapati's.
'Bapu,' replied the vagrant,' I am too poor to buy you a horse, but I have brought this minister of the government for you. He...'
Bapu looked at the minister and remarked:' I asked for a horse, not a donkey'
Is It Worth?
Two North-Koreans are arguing about whether it is or it isn't worth to flee to South Korea.
One of them says: "I've heard that in South Korea, 2 street dogs have eaten a guy!"
The other one: "So, let's go then!!! Yesterday in Pyongyang I saw 2 guys sharing only 1 dog!"
The Shopping Bag
Under Nicolae Ceausescu's ruthless dictatorial regime, Romanian citizens suffer from low life standards.
Shops only sell vinegar and mustard. Food is hard to find.
A man is walking on the streets of Bucharest with an empty bag. Suddenly he stops and opens his bag and starts wondering... "I can't remember was I going to the shop or coming from the shop?"