Your 5 Jokes for March 09, 2012: Politics Jokes

Died Five Years Ago

A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.

"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.

"My dad died," the boy replied.

"That's terrible, when did it happen?"

"Five years ago," the boy said.

"Five years ago? And you are still this upset?"

"It's not that," the boy said. "It's just that my dad voted today, but he didn't come to see me."

Just To See

An old Leningrader received news from abroad that he was heir to a huge fortune. The KGB were on his doorstep immediately demanding that he transfer his inheritance to the USSR.

The Leningrader held out for a long time, but then agreed — on one condition.

'I'll transfer my fortune to the USSR on condition that for one day all the shops in Leningrad will give everything away free.'

The authorities thought about this, and since the inheritance was vast, they decided to agree. .

The next day all the shops in Leningrad gave their goods away free. There was pandemonium — people climbing over one another, children crushed.

The hospitals and soon the morgues too were filled to overflowing...

'See what you've done,' the authorities say to the man. 'What on earth did you want this to happen for?'

'I'm an old man,' replies the Leningrader, 'and before I die I badly wanted to see what Communism would be like.'

Two Philosophers At A Restaurant

Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster.

“There is most certainly a difference," said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune __ but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise ship carrying the Congress was to sink in the middle of the ocean, that would be a disaster __ but by no stretch of the imagination would it be a misfortune

The Soviet School

A commission visited a school to investigate the inculcation of patriotism among its pupils.

'Sergei,' asked a member of the commission, 'who is your father?'

'My father is the Soviet Union,' replied Sergei.

'Good boy! And who is your mother?'

The Communist Party,' replied Sergei.

'Good boy! And what do you want to be when you grow up?'

'An orphan.'

What’s The Difference?

"What is the main difference of succession under tsarist regime and under socialism?"

"Under tsarist regime the power transferred from father to a son, and under socialism - from one grandfather to another."

See also:

Bill Clinton jokes - Dictatorship jokes - George W. Bush jokes - Political jokes - Politician jokes - President jokes - Speech jokes


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