Your 5 Jokes for July 24, 2013: Picnic Jokes

Company Picnic

A wife chewed out her husband at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times?"

"Not a bit," the husband replied. "I just tell them I'm filling up the plate for you....!"


Gloom

The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.

Then, when the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." her mother said.

"It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain!"


The Cookies

At a church picnic the priest has set out a table of oranges and cookies. On the one side of the table, by the oranges, the priest has placed a sign, "Take only one, God is watching!"
Little Johnny walks up to the cookies and sure enough he starts stuffing his pockets.
Upon seeing him an altar boy exclaims's, "Johnny, what are you doing?"
"It's Okay," says Johnny, "God's watching the cookies!"


Tree Or Road

There were these two morons driving along the highway looking for a place to stop and picnic.

The first moron says, "Let's stop here, and have our picnic under that tree."

The other says, "No! Let's have it right here in the middle of the road."

They fought for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road. All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve into the tree to keep from hitting them.

The second moron says, "See? If we were under that tree, we'd be dead now!"


Tragedy

A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"

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