At A Café
A neutron walks into a café. "I'd like a soda" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a soda.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
A physics professor at a state university in Michigan was famous for his animated lectures. He was short and thin with wild white hair and an excited expression. In lecture he would throw himself from the top of desks and throw frisbees to students in the back row to illustrate various principles.
One day in class he was spinning on an office chair holding weights in each hand when he lost his balance and tumbled into the first row.
He apologized to his class for going off on a tangent.
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says:
"Oh, my fault, you okay?"
The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!"
A six-year-old boy spotted Albert Einstein walking down the street and decided to try out his favorite joke on him: "Mr. Einstein! Why did the chicken cross the road?" To which the famous physicist replied, "My young burgeoning mind, zee question does not have a definite anzer. Vether zee chicken crossed zee road or zee road crossed zee chicken depends on your frame of reference."
Ivan Ivanovich, the great Russian scientist does an experiment. He wants to know how fast a thermometer falls down. He takes a thermometer and a light, a candle light. He drops both from the 3rd floor and recognizes that they are reaching the ground at the same time. Ivan Ivanovich, the great Russian scientist writes in his book: A thermometer falls with the speed of light.