Pharmacy Bridal Registry
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a pharmacy. Jacob suggests that they go in and have a look around.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
A Good Husband
A woman and her husband approach their pharmacist and begin to ask questions like if the pharmacy checks for medications past their expiration date and the reliability of a certain company that makes birth control pills. Finally the pharmacist asks the couple what's the matter. The wife explains, "In spite of using birth control pills I continue to get pregnant."
The pharmacist is astounded and asks the woman if she takes them every day. The woman replies, "My husband takes them every day."
"What ?" the pharmacist croaks.
"Yep. After we read all those potential side-effects, my husband said ' Ah honey.. I don't what you taking that stuff.. it's too dangerous,.....let ME take them.' "
Something for the Hiccups
A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.
"What did you do that for?" the man asks.
"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"
The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does!"
The Bowl of Peanuts
A pharmacist goes to a nursing home to review an elderly customer. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they talk, he can't help himself and eats one after another.
By the time they are through talking, the bowl is empty.
He says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I seem to have eaten all of your peanuts."
"That's okay," she says. "They would have just sat there. Without my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off and put them back."
A Solution for a Terrible Cough
A front end clerk in a pharmacy has just been admonished by the owner for missing too many sales. "I'm sorry" the boss says "But one more missed sale and you’re fired"
The next customer that comes in has a terrible cough and asks the problem clerk for help. Unable to recall where the cough remedies are, the nervous clerk points to a box of Ex-Lax and says "Here, buy this then go over to our cooler and take all of it with plenty of water".
The customer thanks him and obliges. Finishing his last glass of water, the customer exits the pharmacy. Once outside he stops, takes a few faltering steps, then hugs a telephone pole. The boss, having witnessed the entire scene, approaches the clerk and asks him what he recommended.
"Ex-Lax," says the clerk hesitantly.
"Ex-Lax !" yells the boss. "That won't help a cough!"
"Sure it does," says the clerk. "Look,.. he's afraid to cough."