5 Pet Jokes

A Zoo Pet

Hari was very happy watching the animals at the zoo and begged his parents to buy him one. ‘How will we feed him’, said his father. "Lets buy one with a 'no feeding' sign on it", said Hari.

A Talented Dog

A guy walks into a café with a small dog. The café owner says "Get out of here with that dog!". The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!". The café owner hooks a thumb over at a piano in the corner, "If that dog can play that piano, you both get a drink on the house!".

The guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart... and the café owner and patrons are loving it.

Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out. The café owner asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a dentist."

The Carpet Layer

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

- No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes - he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.

- Here - she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. - I found them in the hallway.

- Now - she said - if only I could find my parakeet.

The Cat and the Husband

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the pet out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?". "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?". Frustrated, the man answered, "Put the little stupid beast on the phone, I'm lost and need directions".

Homework About Family Pet

A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand.

“Why are you sitting on Felix?" he asked.

“Well, teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet."

Related Collections

Animal jokes
Bird jokes
Cat jokes
Fish jokes
Parrot jokes
Vet jokes
Veterinarian jokes


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