Your 5 Jokes for June 30, 2012: Parking Jokes

Get In! Wayne was returning home from a business trip… bags in hand … and slowly making his way to his vehicle in the crowded airport garage. Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a stop in front of Wayne, and the driver pointed menacingly at him. “Get in," the driver ordered. “I’ll take you to your car." Startled, Wayne took a step backward. “Ah … no thanks," he answered. “I can get there myself." “No," the man barked back as he threw open his passenger side door. “Get In !" Wayne’s eyes now darted around the garage, hoping to find a security guard. Just then, the driver’s face softened ….. “Please," he said, “I’ve been driving up and down for two hours. I can’t find a space to park and I want yours."

Misleading Signs Joe was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense. "They should not put up such misleading notices," said Joe. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

Notes A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."

Parking Further Away Bob and his wife were walking into the parking lot when a friend, Larry, saw them. Larry asked, "Bob, why are you walking so far? Did your car break down?" Bob replied, "No, my wife read how you could burn off more calories by parking further away." Larry asked, "How far away did you park?" Bob responded, "About 10 calories."

Parking Place A man was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will give charity every week for the rest of my life and give up alcohol." Miraculously, a parking place appeared. The Man looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

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