Your 5 Jokes for March 29, 2012: Park Jokes

Don’t Run

Just as I was finishing a hike at Piney Run Park in Baltimore, I overheard a group of kids talking about their recent bear sightings. “If you meet a bear, don’t run," one kid said ."Really why?" Because," I interjected, “bears like fast food."

Looking For A Man

A little old lady sits next to an old man on a bench in Miami. The woman asks, ‘Are you a stranger here?’ The man replies, ‘Sort of. I used to live here years ago.’ ‘So, where have you been?’ asks the old lady. The old man replies, ‘I was in prison – for murdering my wife.’ ‘Really?’ says the old lady ‘So you’re single …’


A guy walks in Central Park in New York City, and sees a dog attacking a toddler. The guy runs toward the dog, grabs the leash and restrains the dog, until the dog has suffocated. The bystanders regard him as a hero, and the journalist cooks up a headline:

-"A New Yorker hero has saved a baby from a vicous dog"

-"Wait. I don't live in New York."

-"OK. An American hero has saved a baby from a vicous dog."

-"Neither am I American."

-"Well, where are you from?"

-"I'm from Pakistan."

Next day's headline:

-"Islamic fundamentalists have brutally tortured a dog to death. The FBI is searching for the possible Al-Qaeda operatives who were probably involved in the attack."

Scientists At The Park

Three men were sitting on a park bench, a biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician. They saw two people walking on the opposite side of the street and into an apartment building. Later on, the two people walked out, but with a third person with them. This puzzled the three men.

“The first two must have reproduced," explained the biologist.

“That’s not right," objected the physicist, “there was already another person in the building."

“You’re both wrong!" exclaimed the mathematician. “They didn’t reproduce and there was nobody in the building, but if one more person enters that building, it will be completely empty."

The Bandstand

Two little old ladies were walking through the park one Sunday afternoon. The band was playing a catchy sounding tune, and one of the old ladies said, "I wonder what the name of that tune is". The other one noticed a sign posted near the bandstand and said, "It looks like they post the names of their selections. I'll go down and see". A while later she came back and told her companion, "It's the Refrain from Spitting".