The Importance Of Paper
A little boy and his older sister were building paper airplanes when his sister said, "We should stop building planes now and play with the ones we've got. We don't need to waste any more paper."
"Because if we use too much paper we'll lose all the trees, and everyone will die.."
"Because we don't have any paper?"
That’s Not It
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."
Mark called in to see his friend Angus (a Scotman) to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls.
Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Angus replied "No. I'm moving house."
The New Supermarket
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore!!!
A family decided to hang new wallpaper, but they don't know how many rolls to buy. The wife suggested to ask the neighbors from the second floor because their apartments are of the same size and she knew they have hung new wallpaper recently. So, the husband goes to the neighbors:
Husband: How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy?
Neighbors: 16 rolls.
So the husband bought 16 rolls, hung them and it appeared that there were extra 6 rolls left. He goes to the neighbors again:
Husband: What's wrong with you, guys?! There are 6 rolls left!
Neighbors: Yes, we had 6 rolls left as well.