Your 5 Jokes for December 19, 2012: Pants Jokes

No Denim

Michael Johnson, the Olympic gold medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends. At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said: "Sorry, mate, you can't come in here — no denim." Michael was quite annoyed at this and retorted: "Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson." "Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?" replied the bouncer.


A little girl learned in school, that instead of words, pictures and symbols would be drawn to indicate something if words weren't understood.

Later that day, she needed to go into the bathroom, looked at two pictures, and went in one. A teacher asked her, "Why did you go into the boys' bathroom?" She answered, "The picture showed a person wearing pants, and I'm wearing pants. The other picture showed someone wearing a dress, and I'm not."


A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, The French captured an English major.Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him. The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?" In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic. And that is why from that day to now, all French Army officers wear brown pants.

The Salesman

Rachel and Sarah meet one day in Brent Cross shopping centre.

“Is it true, Rachel," asks Sarah, “that your son Benjy has moved out of law?"

“Yes, it’s true," replies Rachel, “he’s now a salesman in a tailor shop."

“My," says Sarah, “but a salesman? Is he any good at it?"

Rachel replies, “Is he any good? Why he’s brilliant. Only yesterday a woman comes into his shop to buy a suit to bury her poor late husband in. And guess what my Benjy did? He talked her into buying an extra pair of trousers."

I was walking around in the movies with my friends and we saw this one teenager.

His pants were falling down, so I said to my friends, "God, these kids nowadays! I thought a rapper died and the kid decided to put his pants half-staff!"