Your 5 Jokes for January 15, 2013: Optician Jokes

Cataract

A man of Asian descent goes for his regular eye exam and the doctor tells him that he has a cataract. The man keeps arguing that it is impossible for him to have a cataract. Frustrated, the doctor asks the man why in the world he thinks that it is impossible for him to have a cataract. The man replies, "Because, Doc, I drive a Rincoln!"


Driver’s Licence

When Jacob from Poland applies for a driver's license, he is asked to take an eyesight test. The optician points to a card on the wall with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z
and says to Jacob, "Can you read this?"

"Read it?" replies Jacob, "the man’s my best friend."


Returning The Glasses

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.

"What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."


Shortsightedness

A man goes to an optician asking for help about his shortsightedness.

The optician invites the man to go outside the shop, points to the sun and asks the man what that is. The man somewhat stunned replies obviously: that’s the sun! Thereafter the optician asks: but how far do you want to see?


Sitting On Glasses

Patients come in all the time embarrased that they sat on their glasses. After readjusting them I bring them out and tell them not to do it again. "Besides" I'll say. "It's a waste of time. Didn't your mother teach you that hindsight is 20/20"