Falling From The Tree
Two olives are pals, and they're hanging from the tree like they'vebeen for months. Suddenly, one falls to the ground. The remaining one says, "Are you ok?" And the other replies, "Olive!"
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"Excuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," said the Irishman, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
Olive you with all my heart!
Buffy was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick.
"Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive.
"Big Deal," muttered Buffy. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."
An Indiana Olive Garden was shut down after nearly 400 people became sick from eating its food.
The health inspector who found the bacteria responsible commented, "Well, I suppose technically it's E. coli. But it's a little bland, and I certainly wouldn't call it'homestyle Italian' E. coli."