Your 5 Jokes for December 03, 2013: Oil Jokes

Checking Oil

There are a lot of folks that cannot understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.

Well, here is the answer: It is simple......... nobody bothered to check the oil.

Did not know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical.

Most of the oil is in Alaska, Oklahoma, and Texas, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, DC.

Corn Oil

Scientists are excited about the real possibility of using corn as a means to create fuel, thus significantly reducing our dependency on oil.

I understand George Bush will be deploying troops to Iowa next week for Operation Shuck.

Oil Leak

After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large sack of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job.

The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside...!"

Oil Tycoons

A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most oil. The Alaskan Oil Tycoon said, "Listen, there is so much oil in Alaska that I could buy enough gold to build a wall of solid gold 100 feet tall and 100 feet wide all the way around the state of Texas". The Texas Oil Tycoon scratched his chin and adjusted his cowboy hat and said, "Well boy, I'll tell ya just go ahead and build that wall, and if I like it.......I'll buy it".

Olive Oil

Trying to control her frizzy and dry hair, Kay treated her scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, she washed her hair several times with strong soap.

That night when Kay went to bed, she leaned over to her husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?"

"Why ?" he asked, pulling back. "Do I smell like Popeye?"