Your 5 Jokes for July 05, 2012: Mountain Jokes

The Sacrifice

There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn’t let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.

The St Bernard

By the way did you hear about the St Bernard that went up a mountain in a storm to take some brandy to a climber who was lost? Well, they thought he was a goner, because he was gone for a few days, but all of a sudden he turned up again with a note round his neck. It said, 'I enjoyed the brandy very much. Can you send up the rest of the bottle?'

The Three Girls On The Mountain

There were three girls and a genie on a mountain. There was a redhead, a brunette and a blonde. The only one who knew how to get off the mountain was the genie, but she offered the girls a wish to turn into birds and fly off.

"I want to be a blue jay so I can show off my blue color in the sun." the redhead said to the genie. POOF! The bluejay landed off the mountain safely.

"I want to be a cardinal so I can go visit my friends in St. Louis." the brunette said. POOF!

The cardinal landed safely off the mountain, too.

Then the blonde shouted "I want to be cuter than a bluejay and a cardinal! I want to be a penguin!"

The Tourist And The Guide

Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, "How did these rocks get here?""Sir," said the guide, "they were brought down by a glacier."The tourist peered up the mountain and said, "But I don't see any glacier.""Oh, really?" said the guide. "I guess it has gone back for more rocks."

The Wonderful View

As a realtor, I deal with all types of people. Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room. But when I dramatically
pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband asked, "Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it."

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