Your 5 Jokes for August 05, 2012: Motel Jokes

How Much?

When a fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people. “Do you take children?" the man asked.

“No, sir," replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit cards."


The Deaf Couple

A deaf couple check into a motel. They retire early. In the middle of the night, the wife wakes her husband complaining of a headache and asks him to go to the car and get some aspirin from the glove compartment. Groggy with sleep, he struggles to get up, puts on his robe, and goes out of the room to his car. He finds the aspirin, and with the bottle in hand he turns toward the motel. But he cannot remember which room is his. After thinking a moment, he returns to the car, places his hand on the horn, holds it down, and waits. Very quickly the motel rooms light up, all but one. It's his wife's room, of course. He locks up his car and heads toward the room without a light.


The Death Of The Salesman

A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager. The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."


The Signature

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Why'd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk. "Cause Ah can't write," replied the girl. "Why don't you sign with an 'X'?" asked the man. "Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"


The Wake-Up Call

Staying at an economy motel, Fred ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, he awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call."

Annoyed, Fred let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6!" he complained. "What if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?"

"Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million-dollar deal to close, you wouldn't be staying in this motel!"