Beeping The Horn
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, daddy."
He replied, "How'd you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't say' JERK' afterwards!"
Correct The Sentence
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first Mam.
Correct The Sign
A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ each -- three for a dollar."All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
"Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"
"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
Forgiven And Forgotten
Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'" "It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."
What’s The Meaning Of This?
An employee walks into the Accounts office and says "What is the meaning of this? I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."
The accountant replies "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."
The employee snaps back "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."