Your 5 Jokes for June 15, 2014: Missing Person Jokes

Cancelled Freda is getting worried. Her husband Bernie walked out of their house earlier that day and hasn’t returned. At 9pm she goes to her local police station to report a missing person. While she’s giving details to the officer in charge, she gives him a photo of Bernie and says, "When you find him, could you please tell him that my mother didn’t come after all. She decided she would stay the week at my brother’s house instead."


Description A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing. "Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer. "He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the woman. "Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was."


Missing Husband A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"


Missing Wives Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around at Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy: "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says: "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little worried." The old guy says: "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like? The young guy says: "Well, she’s 27 years old, tall, red hair, blue eyes, beautiful and she's wearing a tight white dress. What does your wife look like?" The old guy says: "It doesn't matter -- let's look for yours!"


Wife Reported Missing After a few months of marriage Aparna's husband reported her Missing. Police found her, but she refused to come back. "We met while playing mixed doubles tennis," she said. "When we married we planned to have 2 boys and 2 girls, to form our own mixed doubles. Now my husband is bored with tennis and mad about football. There are 11 boys in a soccer team and I'm worried."

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