5 Magician Jokes - Part 2

Borrowing Money

A close up magician, Dave, rang his best friend and fellow magician, Joe.

Dave - “Joe? Mate I need to borrow £100. My wife is dying and I need to get her some special medicine to save her life!"

Joe - “Well Dave, I would lend you the money, but I’m worried you’ll just blow it on prop’s".

Dave – “No I won’t. I already have the money for props!!!"

The Hypnotist at the Town Council Meeting

The town council were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member of the council was a keen ameteur magician and suggested bringing in a hypnotist that he knew from his local magic club. The officials agreed, so the hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.

A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor...

"Sh**" said the hypnotist.

Well … It took nearly three weeks, to clean up the town hall.

A Juggler in Hell

A juggler is sent to hell for his sins.

As he is being taken to his place of eternal torment, he sees a magician doing card tricks for a couple of beautiful woman.

"What a rip-off," the juggler muttered. I have to roast for all of eternity, and that magician gets to spend his time doing card tricks for beautiful women!"

Jabbing the juggler with his pitchfork, Satan snarled: "Who are you to question these women's punishment?"

I Got a Gig

Now that school is out the parents of a young boy send their son to summer camp.

When he returned home after his first day at camp his dad asked him, "What did you do at summer camp today?" His son said, "I'm taking a really cool magic class. I learned how to make a coin disappear and then make it re-appear from someones ear."

"That is great!" said the dad. The next day the dad asked his son, "What did you learn in your magic class today?" The son said, "We learned a card trick. I have you pick a card put it back into the deck, mix it up, and I can find the card."

"Wow that sounds like fun." says the dad. On the third day the dad asked his son, "What did you learn in magic class today?"

The son said, "I couldn't make it to class today." "Why not?", asked the father. The son replied, "I had a gig..."

The Mind Reading Lesson

One day an amateur magician was visiting a fair. Over to one side was a small tent, with a sign that said 'For 10 pounds I'll teach you to be a mind reader! - Apply within.'

So the magician thought that he'd give it a go, and if all went well he could impress his fellow magicians at the next club meeting.

So he went inside, and sat behind a small table was an old man, who looked up as he entered and said, 'Ah, you must be here for the mind reading lessons.'

'Er, yes,' said the magician.

'Well, follow me, and I'll give you your first lesson.'

Then the old man goes out the back of the tent and comes back with a hose. 'Here, hold this hose,' he said.

'Why?' said the magician, looking quite puzzled.

'It's part of the lesson,' replies the old man, 'Now, look in the end and tell me what you see.'

So the magician looks into the end of the hose, and only sees darkness. 'I don't see anything,' he tells the old man.

Just then the old man turns on a tap, and the hose shoots water into the magicians's face.

'I just knew you'd do something like that.' the magician shouted.

'There. You are now a mind reader!' the old man replies, 'That'll be 10 pounds please!'


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