Your 5 Jokes for December 04, 2012: Luck Jokes

Breaking A Mirror

Marty: Do you believe that you will get seven years of bad luck if you break a mirror?

Larry: Of course not. My uncle broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years of bad luck.

Marty: He didn't?

Larry: No, he was hit by a car that same day.


Gifts

Halfway along a commercial flight, a stewardess spoke out to the surprised passengers,

"Ladies and gentlemen! We have the honor to announce that you happen to be aboard the 10,001st flight of Good Grace Airlines! To celebrate this historic event, we are glad to give each of you a special valuable gift."

The passengers immediately broke into a cheerful applause, congratulating each other on the sudden luck they had. Then one man said aloud,

"This is really exciting! But why didn't you choose the 10,000th flight? I suppose it's a better number for a celebration."

"Certainly we did," replied the stewardess, "but unfortunately, because that flight crashed, we decided to shift the celebration."


Lucky And Unlucky

Some people just seem to have a lot of luck. A friend of mine is one of those card players who can almost always draw whatever he needs to win a hand in poker, but loses big time at the races. I asked him about this once and he replied, "Well... they won't let me shuffle the horses."


Not His Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my mother-in-law at home. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."


PC Robbery

Mark owned a PC shop in Golders Green. Unfortunately, the shop was robbed on night and much stock was taken.

Henry, his friend heard of the robbery and went to visit Mark.

“I’m very sorry to hear of the robbery", says Henry. “Did you lose much?"

“I did lose some big items but it’s all OK, I’m quite lucky really. I’m glad it didn’t happen one night earlier."

“Why?" says Henry.

“Well", replies Mark, “just on the day of the theft, I marked everything down by 20% in readiness for my annual Sale!"