As they are leaving church, Cyril says to his friend George, "Why are you looking so depressed? Is anything wrong?"
"Is anything right? you might have asked," replies George. "My business is in a terrible state and I owe a hell of a lot of money. (pause) And I don't have the slightest idea where I'm going to get it from."
"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that," says Cyril.
"Why do you say that?" says George, "I thought we were friends."
"We are," says Cyril, "I only said it because for one moment, I thought you might have had the idea of asking me to lend you the money."
Fred asked his friend Harry to lend him money. The day Fred met Harry to take the money, he told him: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt.’And Harry answered: ‘That's what I'm afraid of!’
Is It True?
Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?"
Defendant: "Yes, it's true."
Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?"
Defendant: "Because it wouldn't be true anymore."
Is That James?
"Hello" "Hello" "Is that you, James?" "Yes, this is James." "Are you sure this is James." "Yes I'm sure, this is James!" "This is Robert... can you lend me twenty dollars?" "I'll tell James when he comes in."
Bennett asks his friend Ernest, "Hey, can you lend me your book titled 'How To Become A Billionaire'?"
Ernest says, "Wait a minute, I'll get it for you".
When Ernest gives him the book, Bennett comments, "Thank you, buddy, but half the pages are missing!!"
Ernest replies, "So what? Isn't half a billion enough for you?"