First Day in the Kindergarten
The first girl she asks says, "My name is Lilly. My mummy called it me because a lilly petal landed on her belly when i was in it.
"Oh thats nice" the teacher says, "And what’s your name?" She asks to another little girl.
The girl says "My name is Rose. My mummy called it me because a rose petal fell on her belly when i was in it."
"Oh thats nice" the teacher says, she then spots a bigger, unhappy looking boy in the corner, she asks him. "What’s you name little boy?"
He stands up and replies "Breezeblock!"
The Dead Frog
A kindergarten teacher had a pupil tell her he had found a frog. She inquired as to whether it was alive or dead. "Dead," she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked.
"Because I pissed in his ear," said the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?" squealed the teacher in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst'. He didn't move."
The First Letters of the Alphabet
One day a little boy was at kindergarten. The teacher told the class their homework was to find the first five letters of the alphabet.
When the little boy got home he went to his older brother who was playing video games. "Big brother whats the first letter of the alphabet?". His big brother then said to the little boy "Shut up retard i'm sick of listening to you!".
Then the little boy went on to his second brother who was watching batman. " Big brother what's the second letter of the alphabet?". The older brother who obviously wasn't paying attention said " Na na na na na na na Batman!".
The little boy went on to his dad who was watching football and said "Dad whats the third letter of the alphabet?". His dad then screamed "Forty-niners, forty-niners!".
Once again the little boy went on but this time to his mom who was cooking buns and he said "Mom what's the fourth letter of the alphabet?". His mom then yelled " My buns are on fire, my buns are on fire!".
One last time the boy went to his dad again and said "Dad what's the fifth letter of the alphabet?". His dad who was taking out the garbage sang "In the garbage in the garbage in the garbage.".
The little boy went to school the next day and the teacher asked him what the first letter of the alphabet is the little boy said " Shut up retard i'm sick of listening to you!". The teacher was outraged " Young man what is your name?" " Na na na na na na na Batman!". The teacher was now furious " Go down to the principal's office right now!". The little boy listened and went down to the principal's office.
"All right young man since I am a nice principal i'll let you pick how many spankings you will get". The little boy yelled " Forty niners forty niners". So after forty nine spankings the principal looked down at the boy and said " How do you feel now?". The little boy screamed " My buns are on fire my buns are on fire!". The principal looked at the boy and said " All right lets see if i've straightened you up now. Where do I live?" the little boy sang " In the garbage In the garbage In the garbage"...
The Most Wanted
Little Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read, "The 10 Most Wanted."
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman, "the detectives want him very badly."
So Little Tommy asked, while tugging on the man's belt, "Um, mister, why didn't you keep them when you took their pictures?"
A kindergarten teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her, absentmindedly she removed her glasses to clean them.
"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on !"
Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"