Bit By Bit
Prisoner: “Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!"
Doctor: “I am... bit by bit!"
Matthew P. Dukes, 26, sentenced to 30 days in jail in 1989 following his sixth drunken-driving conviction, tried for 15 months (through December 1990) to get into jail in Ravenna, Ohio, but each time was turned away because the jail was full. In December, Dukes filed a lawsuit in federal court claiming that his constitutional rights are being violated by the jail's refusal to admit him.
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes,"MOOOOOOOOOO!"
The New Russian And His Cars
At a Moscow police station:
- Where did you get money to buy MERCEDES?
- I sold my FORD, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get money to buy FORD?
- I sold my LADA, added little bit money and bought it.
- Where did you get money to buy LADA?
- I already have been in prison for that.
The King’s Poems
Once the King read his minister a poem he had written, and asked him for his opinion. The minister honestly remarked that it was not a good poem. The King was offended and had the minister jailed and starved for a couple of days. Later, the King wrote another poem, and again read it to him and asked for his opinion. The minister did not say a word, he just stood up and began to leave.
The King asked: "Where are you going?"
"To jail!" said the minister.
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