Morris is passing by VOT-LOVELY MEN’S WEAR when he sees a sign in their window, JACKETS – SPECIAL PRICE - £250.
So he goes inside. Howard, the assistant on duty, goes over to Morris and says, "Can I be of help, sir?"
"Yes you can," replies Morris, "I’d like you to make me a Beatles jacket."
"A Beatles jacket? I don’t know what that is exactly," says Howard. "Can you describe it to me?"
"Of course," says Morris.
So Howard takes out his note book and starts to make notes.
"It’s like an ordinary jacket," says Morris "but this one has no collar. Neither does it have a lining … or buttons … or button holes. It doesn’t even have lapels."
"Is that it?" asks Howard.
"Yes," replies Morris. "So nu? How much will such a jacket cost?"
"For you," replies Howard, "such a jacket will cost £350."
"But your sign outside says, JACKETS – SPECIAL PRICE - £250," says Morris.
"I know it does," says Howard, "but with all the extras you’ve asked for ….."
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?"
I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses!"
"Now I'll have to kill you too."
In The Outhouse
A man was walking down a lonely country road when Mother Nature called. He rushed to the nearest house and asked if he could use their facilities. The owner said, “Sure, the outhouse is right over there." After about 20 minutes, the owner became concerned that the passer-by had not yet come out of the outhouse. He knocked on the door and as it swung open, he noticed the passer-by bent over, reaching down into the two holer with a stick.
“My goodness, what are you doing?" he asked.
“I dropped my jacket and am trying to retrieve it."
“Well, you’re not going to wear that now are you?"
“No," came the reply. “But my sandwich is in the pocket."
Life Jackets For Sale
The family of a woman who was a first class passenger on the Titanic sold the woman’s worn life jacket for $143,400 at an auction.
Afterwards, the family of the former first class passenger was called greedy when they tried auctioning off the extra six life jackets she was given.
What Shape Is The World?
A man, showing off his knowledge to another, asked if he knew what shape the world was.
"I don't know," said the second. "Give me a clue."
"It is the same shape as the buttons on my jacket," said the first.
"Square," said the second.
"That is my Sunday jacket," said the first. "I meant my weekday jacket. Now what shape is the world?"
"Square on Sunday, round on weekdays," said the second man.