Your 5 Jokes for March 19, 2013: Instructor Jokes

Driving Class

As an instructor in driver education I've learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel. One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to drive for 30 minutes.

When the first student had completed his time, I asked him to change places with one of the others.

Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, "Should I stop the car first?"


Fall Out!

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you dummies fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh sir?"


Here!

In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school, the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security number. In the early hours of a morning, the instructor was calling the numbers.

"Four-seven-seven-zero?" he asked.

"Here," replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the paper, though, he realized he had mistakenly asked for the wrong paper.

"Seven-zero-seven-five?" asked the instructor.

"Here," repeated the student, gearing for trouble.

"I thought you were four-seven-seven-zero, soldier," spoke the teacher.

"That's right, sir," answered our hero. "I have a nick-number."


Question

All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?"Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."


What Would You Do?

A driving instructor: What would you do if you were going up an icy hill and the motor stalled and brakes failed?

His student replied; I`d quickly adjust the rearview mirror.