The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens."It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?""Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied.
"Tonight, you cook dinner!"
Triplets from China: Ki, Mi and Shi emigrated to the USA from China. They decided to become American citizens, and "Americanize" their names.
Ki, called himself "Kit."
Mi called himself "Mitt."
Shi decided to return to China.
A polish immigrant goes into the Wisconsin Department of Motor Vehicles in Milwaukee to apply for a driver’s license and is told he has to take an eye test. The examiner shows him a card with the letters:
C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z
"Can you read this? the examiner asks. "Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I know the guy."
An Italian, having applied for citizenship, was being examined in the naturalization court.
"Who is the President of the United States?"
"Who is the Vice-President?"
"Could you be President?"
"Mister, you 'scuse, please. I vera busy worka da mine."
A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer, "What is your business in Australia?"
"I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply.
The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction record?"
Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't think you still needed one."