Patient: Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine.
The doctor was very much pleased.
He asked: Did it really help you?
Patient: It helped me wonderfully.
Doctor: How many bottled did you find it necessary to take?
Patient: I did not take any of it. My uncle took one bottle and I am his sole heir.
I've just read that reggae singer Damian Marley’s son will receive nothing from his father's will.
I can't believe that he's cut off his own Heir.
That's the difference between the Prince of Wales, a bald man and a monkey's mother?
The Prince of Wales is heir apparent, a bald man has no hair apparent and a monkey's mother is a hairy parent.
Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.
To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar.
To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000.
And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."
Stalin is addressing the people. He announces:
Comrades, I have here a telegram from Trotsky. He states, "You were right and I was wrong. You are the true heir to Lenin. I should apologize."
From the front row a (comrade) tailor rises and calls, "Comrade Stalin!"
Stalin replies, "In our great free socialist state, even a tailor may address the head of state. What is it, Comrade Tailor?"
The tailor replies, "You`re reading it wrong."
"What," says Stalin, "what is wrong? How should I read it? Come up here and tell us."
The tailor reads: "You were right and I was wrong? *YOU* are the true heir to Lenin? *I* should apologize?"