Your 5 Jokes for May 05, 2013: Grocery Jokes

Fat

Mr. Jaswant went to a grocery store collected the grocery and came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing the bill for the items. Jaswant asked “Where is the fat?" The person didn't understand what Jaswant was saying and said "Excuse me Sir, FAT???" Jaswant: "Yes fat. Give me the fat." Jaswant started shouting and arguing with the person and people gathered around. The manager of that grocery store came there and asked Jaswant about the problem. Then Jaswant said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your store and it was written' FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me the fat."


Locksmith

Three rednecks were stranded at the grocery store after one of them accidentally locked the keys in the car.

One of them suggested they call a locksmith, but the other one said it would be too expensive.

The first tried using a coat hanger, but he didn't have any luck.

Suddenly, the third redneck shouted, "There's a gas station about five miles down the road. Why don't we drive the car there and ask them to get the keys out for us?!?"


Peaches

There were two grocery stores in the same lane in Delhi-India. One was owned by Abdul and the other one belonged to Kumar.

Abdul had a sign outside his shop, "Peaches @ Rupees 150 a kilo". A lady, went in and asked for them.

"I am so sorry - they are out of stock right now, come back tomorrow and I'll have them ready for you", said Abdul.

So she ventured into Kumar's grocery store across the street. But his peaches were available for Rupees 200 a kilo! At least he has them in stock, she thought to herself.

"Your prices are very steep" she said. "Abdul sells them at Rupees 150 a kilo".

"You are right, says Kumar, "and when I run out of stock, mine will also be priced Rupees 150 a kilo!"


The Killer

A man want's his wife killed so he calls a hit man named Artie, a jatt. Artie is an old friend of the man and he agrees to kill the man's wife for just one dollar.

So Arti follows the man's wife to Farmer Jacks Grocery store and sees the man's wife. He gets out of his cars and as the man's wife is getting out of her car he goes up to her and chokes her. A guy that worked at the grocery store saw what Arti did and Arti had to go over and choke him too. Then a elderly lady seen what happened and Arti had to choke her too. Again another person seen what was going on and Arti had to choke that person too. Finally the Police came and aressted Arti. The next day on the front page of News
Paper the Headline said' Arti chokes four for a dollar at Farmer Jacks.'


The New Machine

A young boy had a job bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store decided to install a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.The young lad was most intrigued by this machine, and he asked if he could be allowed to work the machine. The manager refused, but the youngster couldn't understand why not.The store manager explained it to him:"Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."

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