Your 5 Jokes for September 11, 2013: Goose Jokes

Hunting The Goose

Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot.'Don't waste your time,' Pat hollered.'The rifle is not loaded.''I can't wait,' Mike shouted back.'The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'

Rescuing Geese

Our local fire department got a call that a flock of geese had become stuck in a frozen lake.

A rescue team crawled out onto the ice, pushing a boat and ice-breaking tools. They got within three yards --and the flock flew off!

The men were left staring at open water.

Someone at the station asked, "How did it go?"

The reply was, "Wild goose chase."

Selling The Goose

One day an idiot was going to the market to sell his goose. An intelligent and humorous guy saw him and decided to put him on the test. He approached the idiot and asked: how much is the donkey? The idiot answered: it is a goose, not a donkey. The guy replied: I did not ask you, I asked the goose.

The Essay

An essay on Geese submitted by a schoolboy reads:

Geese is a low heavy set bird which is mostly meat and feathers. His head is one side and he sits on the other. Geese can't sing much on account of the dampness of the moisture. He's got no between the toes and he's got a little balloon in his stomach to keep him from sinking.
Some geese, when they get big, has curls on their tails and is called ganders. Ganders don't have to sit and hatch but just sit and loaf and go swimming. If I was goose, I would rather be a gander.

The One-Legged Goose

The Hodja was a poor man but not a miserly one. As a matter of fact, miserly people are never poor. Anyhow, one day the Hodja was going to visit the great Tamerlane. On second thoughts he realized how unseemly it would look for him to go empty handed. No, it wouldn't do...

He got a goose beatifully roasted, placed it in a tray and started on his way to the palace. After a while, the aroma of the roasted goose began to tell on him and, when he could bear it no longer, he broke one of it legs off and satisfied his desire.

Tamerlane when offered the gift, at once noticed that one of the legs was missing and being lame in one leg himself, he thought this must have been done on purpose to remind him of his disability. He was, of course, furious and the Hodja had never in his life been in greater danger.

-"What is the meaning of this? " roared the tryant. "Where's the other leg of this goose?"

-"Your Majesty, all the geese in Akshehir are one-legged," replied the Hodja.

-"That's preposterous! I never heard of such nonsense!"

-"If your Majesty deigns to look out of the window, the geese near the water will vouch for me."

True enough, all these were standing about in the sun on one leg. He ordered an attendant to chase the birds away. They watched the attendant throw a large stick and then the geese running away as fast as both their legs could carry them.

-"You see, Nasreddin, you were lying. Those geese proved to have two legs a piece."

-"Those poor birds didn't prove a thing, your Majesty. If i were chased away with such a stick, I might grow two more legs myself."