A Dent in the Pile
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shovelling." To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it!?" The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him." Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I counna fin' him." The foreman is really angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells: "Supplies !!!"
A Letter From His Girlfiend
Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker. "Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?" "Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Braxton, "but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him." "How come you got the cotton in your ears?" "Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"
Paddy walks past a building site and sees a sign with "LABOURERS WANTED" on it so he went into the site office and says to the foreman 'I've come about the labourers job'.
Foreman: 'Well Ive just got to give you a simple initiative test so can you give me a sentence with GREAT in it'.
After a short pause Paddy thinks about his donkey jacket that he always wears and says: 'I've got a donkey jacket and I think it's great !'.
'Well done', says the foreman, 'you can have a start, there's a shovel outside'.
That night, Paddy sees his mate Murphy and tells him about his new job and all about the test and what to say.
So nice and early Monday morning, Murphy is at the foreman's door asking about a job because he has taken a few more labourers on the test. So the foreman says to Murphy: 'Can you give me a sentence with fascinate in it'.
So Murphy recites: 'Oiv got a donkey and oi tink it's great'.
The foreman says: 'NO! A sentence with fascinate in it'.
So Murphy again says: 'Oiv got donkey jacket oi tink it's great'.
'NO NO NO!' says the foreman, 'a sentence with the WORD "fascinate" in it.'
So after a weird pause, Murphy says 'Oiv got a donkey JACKET oi tink its great tis got nine buttons but oi can only fasten eight'.
On a Pennsylvania Farm
A foreman at Pennsylvania's Brendle Farms discovered a 4-legged chicken among the 36,000 on the farm. "Sometimes I count their feet and divide by two, but it just wasn't adding up right this time," said the foreman.
Mark Brendle, owner of the farm abutting Three Mile Island nuclear power plant, was excited about the discovery. "We'll put it next to the two-headed duck and the cow with five sets of teats," he said.
Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman. Noticing, however, that the foreman wasn't wearing the earmuffs even on the bitterest day, the landlord asked, "Didn't you like the muffs?" The Foreman said, "They're a thing of beauty." "Why don't you wear them?" The Foreman explained, "I was wearing them the first day, and somebody offered to buy me lunch, but I didn't hear him! Never again, never again!"